Episode 11: Gemma Gray

Gemma Gray joins the Finding Avalon Podcast from Scotland for this episode! Her research and advocacy work on menopause in the workplace, menopause in autistic people, and supporting autistic girls and teens to truly bloom in life is second to none.

Jenna met Gemma through the Autism Canada Au-some Conference in Fall 2024 and graciously shared time during a busy weekend to chat with Jenna and share ideas and tips with Finding Avalon listeners.

Gemma is the founder of Colouring Outside the Lines, a peer-to-peer support and network for parents and carers raising autistic girls to thrive with guidance and support, whether through managing meltdowns or supportive emotional regulation and resilience building.

This is an episode you won’t want to miss, whether you have an autistic daughter, are autistic yourself and learning about preparing for menopause in the future.

“First of all, let’s bust a few little myths about menopause. Not everyone gets every symptom. People often worry that you’re going to be having hot flashes and putting on weight and memory loss and mood swings and this and that.

Now, autistic menopause is different, yes. All those sensory issues that people potentially have, that will happen within menopause also. So it’s really important for autistic women who listening to think ‘Does that mean I’m going to have way worse menopause than a neurotypical person?’

No. If you are diagnosed autistic before menopause You are more likely to have less symptoms than those who are diagnosed autistic during or after menopause. Now why does that happen?

It’s probably because autistic women, I think, have really practical brains. They like having info. If you give them as much info as they can possibly take, and once you have the facts, you feel more confident, more comfortable in what is potentially going to come up.”
Gemma Gray

About this Episode

Episode Title: From Autism in Girls to Autism in Menopause with Gemma Gray

Episode Summary: In this episode of Finding Avalon, host Jenna Barnable speaks with Gemma Gray, a PhD student and advocate for autistic women. They discuss Gemma’s journey to diagnosis, the challenges of masking, the importance of intersectionality in understanding autism, and the unique experiences of raising autistic girls to thrive.

They also explore the impact of menopause on neurodivergent people and challenge misconceptions about autism and disability. The conversation emphasizes the need for awareness, education, and support for autistic people and their families.

Takeaways

Autism is genetic.
Gemma’s journey to diagnosis was influenced by her daughter’s autism diagnosis.
Masking is a common experience for autistic women, often leading to mental health struggles.
Intersectionality plays a crucial role in understanding the diverse experiences of autistic individuals.
Parents should focus on listening to and validating their autistic children’s experiences.
Comparison among children can hinder their growth and self-acceptance.
Raising autistic girls requires a shift in perspective from seeing them as problems to understanding their unique needs.
Menopause can amplify neurodivergent struggles, but not all women will experience severe symptoms.
Autistic women often face unique challenges in the workplace, especially during menopause.
Support groups for menopausal women often lack autism-friendly resources.
Education and awareness are key to changing misconceptions about autism and disability.
Don’t be afraid to cut unhelpful, negative and judgmental people out of your life and your autistic child’s life. Others’ biases and ableism can do adult and children with autism harm.
Belonging is essential for marginalized individuals, including autistic people.
Comparison among children can hinder their growth and self-acceptance.
Autistic voices are vital in advocating for better understanding and support.
The media often perpetuates stereotypes about autism – and menopause – that need to be challenged.
Collaboration among researchers and advocates is vital for progress.
“Belonging is so important.”