Episode 14: Láyla Messner

Each and every conversation so far in the Finding Avalon podcast storytelling project feels like a gift. Connecting with Láyla Messner was meaningful and affirming as we have had so many very similar experiences as late discovered, high-masking autistic women with other non-apparent disabilities.

Láyla’s ideas, wisdom and experiences adds to Finding Avalon’s growing collection of authentic, modern Disabled voices in Canada and beyond. From cognitive cost to her peer support program the Chameleon Collective, she shares her passion for women’s rights and Disabled rights, her expertise in trauma psychology, the frustration of double standards and fake claiming, and the freedom and healing that comes by expressing unabashed autistic joy.

Further below in the “Learn more” resource list, you’ll find out about her leadership of a innovative, new a online community high-masking autistic adults can join, called the Chameleon Collective. Láyla’s also developed a three-month autistic recovery support program for autistic professionals, entrepreneurs and executives, which includes a personalized burnout assessment, life audit, tailored recovery plan and a Burnout Reset Retreat in the Canadian Rockies!

“There’s so many misconceptions about high-masking autism. People this we are quote-unquote “high functioning,” they think we are less autistic, that we’re not struggling, that we have low or even no support needs at all.

Masking is a trauma response or, at the very least, a survival response. What I believe this means is that our brains and bodies learned as children that displaying autistic traits leads to risk. Risk of trauma, abuse, abandonment and isolation, which are things that the nervous system takes incredibly seriously in terms of survival.

For whatever reason, being high-masking seems to be more common in autistic women. For me, because my body and brain prioritize masking, what this looks like is that the worse I’m doing, the better I seem to be doing. Because as soon as I start struggling, my mask clicks on. But that doesn’t mean that I’m capable of functioning at those high levels of distress.
We hide our traits and our support needs as a survival response.”
Láyla Messner

About this Episode

Episode Title: Autism and Invisible Disabilities: Removing the Mask & Embracing Joy with Láyla Messner (S1E14)

Episode Summary: In this episode of Finding Avalon, Jenna Barnable speaks with Láyla Messner, a Canadian autistic art activist, about her journey with multiple invisible disabilities, the challenges of masking, and the impact of burnout on autistic individuals. She speaks about things that non-disabled people can learn from Disabled people, in a society built upon ableism that devalues disabled people and their humanity and promotes individualism and independence over healthy human interdependence.

They discuss the intersection of feminism and disability rights, the misconceptions surrounding invisible disabilities, and the importance of advocating for disabled joy. Láyla shares her experiences and insights on the need for support and understanding within society, emphasizing that disabled lives are valuable and worth living authentically.

Takeaways

Masking is often a trauma response for high masking autistic individuals.
Burnout is a significant risk for autistic people, especially those who mask.
The intersection of feminism and disability rights is crucial in understanding societal expectations.
Invisible disabilities are often misunderstood, downplayed and stigmatized.
Disabled joy is a valid and important aspect of the disabled experience.
Authentic, vulnerable storytelling challenges stigma around invisible disability.
The ableist belief that people fake disability to get access to supports they don’t need must be dismantled. Disabled people fake being well, not being disabled or ill.
Support systems are essential for disabled individuals to thrive.
The narrative around disability needs to shift towards valuing lived experiences.
Autistic joy and Disabled joy is for us not for non-disabled people’s comfort or inspiration.
Advocacy work is vital in challenging the enduring misconceptions about disability.
Láyla has created The Chameleon Collective for other high-masking autistics seeking to heal from burnout, find community, and explore how to strike a new life balance tailored to their individual needs.

Listen to Episode 14 here

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